A cousin of August's just got engaged. His proposal was sweet, but not my style. Not that he consulted me. Many of my friends' husbands went all out for the event: one arranged to have a third party turn on a CD player so there was a soundtrack. Another actually had a family member videotape it, which violates all my notions of proper romance.
August's proposal, on the other hand, was like most everything he does: simple and to the point. We hadn't seen one another for an entire month, and he surprised me with a visit sooner than I was expecting him. We went to a house and garden that was open to the public but deserted on that particular day. (August of course didn't bribe the owners to turn everyone else away. Probably.) Did I know what was up? Well, yes. I even knew the spot where he was going to take me -- beside the lake with the weeping willow -- because we'd spent a lot of time there on previous trips.
So when we got to the enclosed courtyard with the fountain, I was unprepared when August knelt down in front of me. He condensed the question into, oh, two sentences. My answer was one word, but it was the right one. We lived happily ever after and got married two months later.
So I started wondering what sort of proposal story others have. If you don't mind sharing, how did you Get the Question? Or was it an understood thing that never formally got Asked? Or did you, flouting convention, Ask Him? It's a grey midwinter day here and I've got a cold, so I need some romance to brighten the day.
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We had finally bought a house and were living together after months and months of being apart while he was in Iraq, Kuwait, Afghanistan. We had been there two months and he bought me a small "promise" ring for Valentines day, saying that's all he could afford right now (since we put all our money into the house) and he would get me a proper ring when he could.
I told him I didn't need a big ring - I'm not like that. I told him it didn't matter how or when he proposed, and that a big ring wasn't what being engaged was all about. Two weeks later on a Sunday night at 10 pm, I was getting ready for bed. I took my ring off my right hand and put it in its box to wash my face, etc. I went to my side of the bed and got into bed. He had the same ring, asked to marry me, and put it on my left hand.
Eventually he did get me a bigger, though not "big" ring. Big is not my style. We were engaged for 18 months, saving our pennies, and had one kick-ass wedding.
Mike has always felt bad that he never did anything crazy or that we don't have a "story" - but I still say it was perfect and that we DO have a story.
Gerald and I had been dating for three weeks when one Saturday morning, the conversation turned to the ocean. I confessed that I had never seen an ocean in my life. He decided that was unacceptable and we loaded the dog into the car and drove five hours to the coast. Over dinner that night, he was very pensive and detached. I thought for sure he was dumping me.
After dinner, we took a walk on the beach and then sat to watch the waves break in the dark. I thought, "This is it. He's going to break up with me and then we'll have to spend the night and drive all the way home together." Imagine my surprise when, instead, he proposed. A very simple "will you marry me?" I was stunned into silence, which is rarer than a solar eclipse. I finally recovered enough to answer and we were married six months later.
We had been dating for 6 months, but in the this-can-never-go-anywhere way. He was a foreigner from a place where they do arranged marriages, I'm as white and American as they can get. We both knew we could never be together. Family and friends would ask me questions about our future by telling them that we could never get married, and that one day we would break up, and it would all be okay. I knew I loved him and wanted to be in a relationship with him for as long as possible. He really is my perfect match. As for him, he would finish school, go back home, and his parents would find him a wife. I was content knowing that he would think about me for the rest of his life.
But, the no-future thing was reaching a boiling point. It turned out I wasn't as okay with it as I'd thought, and after about a year of dating, I started bringing it up more and more. Four months later, I couldn't take it anymore, and we had one long, intense discussion after the other. Some in person, some over the phone, because we lived far away from each other (like, plane-trip far.)
So it's all reaching a head, we're on the phone and it comes right down to it. We should end it. He says no - it will all be okay, can I just wait a little bit, he'll call me right back?
Ten minutes later he calls back to say he's just gotten off the phone with Delta, he's flying to see me in two hours.
He gets here, and it’s all different. We're calm, quiet. He says, "I think we should do it when my parents come to visit next month." and I say "Do what?" and he say... "You know."
Oh, so romantic.
And I responded, "You know? You're gonna have to say it!"
And I said yes, but that I wasn't going to get my hopes up until after he'd told his parents and gotten their blessing. Which is a whole 'nother story.
Suffice to say that within a few weeks, his parents knew, I'd told my family, and had flown to visit him. We were going to see a movie but got some coffee before it started. I had finished my coffee but he was SO SLOW. I kept saying we should hurry up, we're going to miss the movie, but he kept talking on and ON about how I should calm down, it’s such a beautiful night, look at the beautiful moon, but it’s not as beautiful as me and THEN he got down on one knee, had the PERFECT ring and really ASKED me. It was great. A do-over. And now I have two stories to tell.
And we were married two months later, when his parents came to visit, just like he's said.
I like your story Mairzy, he did what suited the two of you. That's what I like best. That's pretty much how my husband did it.
We loved to go hiking in different parks and explore. We went a lot when the weather was nice, but we always took one last trip the weekend before or after his birthday in October. It was always a beautiful time to see the trees in autumn before it got too cold.
This particular day my husband (then-boyfriend) had brought a ring he'd so carefully picked out and bought without my knowledge. And he was able to slip it into his pocket with me noticing, and I didn't notice the whole time we were hiking.
There was this beautiful rock formation we noticed as we walked by. We'd been there before, and Matt remembered that there was a small ledge behind those rocks. He told me he would hike back there then peek out from behind the rocks (where he could come towards me then), and I should take a picture. OK, sounded like fun. Well, he took a long time to get around the rocks, and I didn't know why. When he peeked out under the rocks he had his hands behind his back and a grin on his face. He told me to take the picture. I thought he'd found a big or something while he was back there and was going to scare me. He had to talk me into taking the picture and not running away. So, I did, and right after that he pulled out a beautiful ring and asked me to be his wife. It was so sweet. I said "Yes" and we were married about 9 months later during our summer break from college.
The fun thing is I have a photo of him just before he proposed. What a great keepsake.
Here is a post where I put that photo up, in case you wanted to see. :D
Proposal Photo
We had been dating for not quite a year and although we knew after about three weeks of dating that we were going to get married, we waited, just to make sure we weren't crazy. We took our first real vacation together to San Diego. I sort of suspected that we might get engaged then because I had accidentally stumbled upon a check he had written and mailed to a jeweler out of town. But since it was right before we left for our trip, I didn't think there was any way he actually HAD a ring, just maybe he'd bought one or was buying one.
So our first night, we went to the Hotel del Coronado and had a lovely dinner. After our dinner, we walked on the beach but it was getting dark and the water was cold. He was acting strangely. He then came up to me and put his arms around me and starting saying some very sweet things, none of which either of us can remember now but I knew about 10 seconds before he asked that he was about to do it and I got all shaky and emotional. After he actually said "will you marry me?" I started crying and buried my head in his chest. I said yes, but I couldn't stop crying. He kept asking me if I wanted to see the ring but it took me a bit to be able to focus on that. I spent the rest of the trip looking at it. And even now, almost 8 years later, we still joke about how sparkly my ring looks in the lights of elevators, because that whole trip, I spent a long time gazing at my ring in the elevator of the hotel.
Thanks for this. I am feeling a bit peevish with my husband right now and this really helped me remember how sweet and wonderful he is.
Well, hon. I do not have what you need if you are looking for romance. Want to know? I will dish. But I haven't even told my family or friends the "true" version, so I am going to anonymous-ish.
So, we had been living together for about 9 months and dating for a little over a year. I had a child from a previous relationship whose father was not in the picture. But the ex and the ex's family started making insinuations that the ex was going to come back into my life to be involved in my son's life. My son was 5 at the time and still has never met his biological father.
So, I get up some money and go to a local attorney who is known for dealing with custody issues. My partner goes with me. The lawyer tells me I am out of luck. If I press the issue, the courts could MAKE me actually find the ex and MAKE me start taking my son to see him. I only had one option. IF I got married and IF my new husband adopted my son (since the ex never had anything to do with the child, this would work out legally in our state), then I could prevent the ex from demanding visitations, i.e. my worst nightmare.
So, this is a delicate situation, right? As we are walking out the door, he says, "Well, that's easy enough." I goggled at him and told him I don't want to get married because of legal reasons. I don't want to ask someone to be my life parnter to save me from my past. He shrugs and says, "We were going to do it anyway."
That was my proposal.
(And just in case you were wondering, legally everything worked out. We got married on the beach a few weeks later, paid a ton of legal fees for me and my husband to adopt my own son. Now we have a mortgage and another child and one of those marriages other people are jealous of.)
our first vacay together was charleston, sc. i loved that place. We went back again and then I'd planned a third weekend away. (I had a friend who got me great hotel discounts!). He said he didn't know if he could get off of work. I told him to let me know b/c I was going and would take a friend. He had the ring for 2 weeks and I had no clue. He did get to go to Charleston with me for the weekend. We ate dinner and went out to the beach that evening and he asked me right there--just the two of us!
It worked great for him that I'd planned the trip so I had no clue.
i like engagement stories but some are a little too over the top for me and fair on the side of cheesy.
The worst ever though is a recent friend got engaged and her (then boyfriend) just said I want to marry you let's go look at rings. They went to look that night, he bought one and put it on her hand right there and they left the store.
Um....a bit uneventful huh?
Everyone else has such sweet stories....wish I did!
We'd been dating for 3.5 years when we had the "get married or move on" conversation. He said he wasn't ready to get married and I, of course, was, so we broke up. It was the night before Thanksgiving. Needless to say, my holiday season stunk.
I started dating someone else (older and more ready to settle down) and he got jealous. He and I went to a concert of a very obscure musician that we both liked (and no one else we knew did - hence our going together) in February. We stayed up all night talking afterward and just decided to get married.
We went to a jewelry store and I showed him several rings that I liked. Without my knowing the price, he bought one on the spot and we bought wedding rings to match. Being a penny pincher, he had them shipped out of state to my in-laws to save on the tax and then they shipped them back to us.
My "proposal" came when we were on the phone together and he said, "The UPS truck is here!" I sped over to his house, he opened the package and put the ring on my finger.
There was no official question popping, but I really don't mind. I do love hearing other people's stories, though.
These are great! Why didn't I think of this post yesterday, when I felt worse and went around being a monster mama all day?!
The great thing about proposal stories is that even the fairly unromantic ones (M gets the award for Most Practical Proposal, although Proposal By UPS is a close second) all have happy endings. To tell the truth, I usually don't get all het up over the really elaborate setups. My general opinion is, If you've got that much romantic energy... save it for the marriage.
I described to August what I wanted in an engagement ring. I figured, hey, I have an opinion, so I might as well let him know what it is. That's the way he likes me to do things, anyway. Not one for intuition, is August.
These have just made my day. Thanks!
Just checking to see if you got my last two emails...1 long reply to your last eamil, and 1 "did you get my last email?" email =). I totally understand if you've been busy, I'm just trying to make sure they didn't get lost in cyberspace =).
Jim and I were talking about getting married about two weeks into dating- it was fast. We looked at rings about a month after we first started dating, but then decided- or so I thought- to shelve the idea for awhile so as not to horrify everyone. Then the day before Thanksgiving, two weeks after looking at rings, I came over to put the finishing touches of Christmas decor up at his apartment and when the tree was finished, he came over and read a poem to me he had written, ending in a proposal. Then he pulled out a ring- a much bigger ring than we had looked at, I might add. It was very sweet and perfect.
Hi Mairzy... I just stumbled upon your blog as I was clicking links on other blogs... and I know you aren't posting anymore, but you said you still enjoy late comments on posts... I thought I'd share a proposal story that a co-worker told me.
This happened to her former co-worker, who was working in the job about a year or two before I started work at the company.
This girl, in her mid-twenties was dating one of those boyfriends who had a well-paying job and loved to spoil her materialistically (he bought her a brand-spanking-new cellphone as a surprise for no occassion just because she mentioned she liked it better than the one she had; etc, etc). It wasn't because she really felt he had to buy her that stuff (she didn't beg him for the items), it was his way of showing her affection, through these types of material gifts.
They had had "the talk" about engagements and what her ideal engagement would be. She said, "You could propose to me in the middle of a busy street with nothing but a rubber band for a ring, and I'd marry you".
One night, they had to go out for dinner with his family. On their way, he said he forgot something he had picked up for his grandmother in the trunk of the car, so he pulled the car over ont he side of the road and asked for her help lifting the object out of the trunk.
When she came around to the back of the car, on that busy road... the trunk was filled with rubber bands; he got down on one knee and proposed.
I thought that it was a hella-awesome story. LOL.
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